Jimmy The Exploder: Fan Site discontinued

We’ve now been asked by The Exploder’s people to discontinue updating this site.

We’ll get up another fan page asap but until then stay BOOM!

Unofficial fan page

We have been instructed by representatives of Jimmy The Exploder to make it clear that he does not endorse this blog and that we are are fan site only. The Exploder’s official site can be found on tumblr

E X P L O D E R V I S I O N : Man sells anus on eBay

E X P L O D E R V I S I O N : The Great Oxford St Blackout of 2011 (starring Arthur)

When a mini-explosion rendered Oxford St powerless, retailers and restaurants descended into panic…but one man stood tall. They call him Arthur.

Top 10 reasons why Henry and Aaron lost Webfest

1. They don’t have clean chain of title (as reported by Encore magazine). Their ‘copyright’ resembles a 6 day old plate of spaghetti marinara. Details here.

2. Jimmy The Exploder’s lawyer and publicist would reluctantly have got medieval on Webfest’s ass (and would do the same to anybody who attempts to exploit his intellectual property without his express written authority).

3. Their dishonest sycophant of a ‘publicist‘ is really just Henry’s girlfriend. A few local journos have been stung by not checking their facts upon receiving bogus press releases.

4. ALL the footage in the Webfest trailer is merely recycled from an unsuccessful 2y.o. sitcom directed by Zak Hilditch (an experienced filmmaker with 3 feature films under his belt) NOT ‘up and coming filmmakers Henry and Aaron’ as falsely claimed.

5. Henry is clearly a KFC eater.

6. They don’t have clean chain of title.

7. They finished an embarrassing 8th in Webfest with 3,578 votes ( 15,000 (FIFTEEN FUCKING THOUSAND!!!) votes less than leader Johnny Beretta on 17,820)

8. Aaron is an alleged [REMOVED BY AUTHOR] (say that really fast and see what you get). If you were to ask around you might hear allegations he [REMOVED BY AUTHOR]  someone leaving bite marks. The alleged victim was distraught enough to leave the country.

9. They DO NOT have clean chain of title. Demand to sight a release form .

10. Numbers 1-9 not withstanding, toothpaste on a slab of cheese just Ain’t. That. Funny.

[Henry and Aaron are fictional characters AND all of the above (excluding the facts about the illegitimacy of the Movie Extra Webfest entry) are opinion only. Ask around and find out for yourself. Most importantly FACT CHECK press releases if you receive them. Have a nice day!]

E X P L O D E R V I S I O N : How to drink beer like a hetero (part 1 of 4)

Thanks to EXPLODERVISION Barack Obama can even drink a 'pony' like a hetero

 

People often ask me how I achieve such a mastery of heterosexuality. Indeed perhaps the most common activity which is queried is beer technique.  So in response I’ve put together a set of instructional videos to help you drink beer the right way…like a hetero!

LOST Vision ‘Gator’ skateboard – REWARD $100

REWARD $100 ono

Now you might say I’m too old to ride a skateboard and you’re probably right. Nevertheless I do and I’ve lost it.

Here’s how shit went down. For some reason I’m under the delusion that my house is 10 mins walk from everywhere. It’s not. Hence when I’m late I stow my board under my arm, walk uphill then roll down the hills.  In fact you can shave about 50% off your journey in this manner!

Because I didn’t want to haul a skateboard around the Flying Scotsman tryhard-style I stowed it in a front yard of a property on Raglan St (just shy of Fresh Provs). Granted this was foolish. Granted I was bound to get drunk and forget where I’d put it. And granted…err I don’t have a third point? But it was a time tested method that had never failed me. Besides I’d ‘forgotten’ in the past yet she was always patiently waiting for me in the morning. Not this time.

My beloved red, vintage Gator (along with my AFI Award, my Jackson Eaton print, a 1st edition of Ayn Rand‘s Atlas Shrugged and my main man Huey fucking Newton!) is amongst my few treasured possessions. If I don’t track it down I will be D E V O.

E X P L O D E R V I S I O N : How to make Mi Goreng

Learn how to make the Indonesian delicacy Mi Goreng in a few simple steps! WARNING: May contain dwarf tossing.

(Psst don’t forget to pop your email down the bottom there => to subscribe)

Congrats to MOVIE EXTRA Webfest! but…

Open letter to the super fantastic MOVIE EXTRA Webfest team:

Regrettably I must inform you of an unresolved copyright issue on entry # 51 Henry & Aaron’s Web Series.

This material has merely changed its name from the project I remain producer of Catching Up! with Henry & Aaron on which I worked with the present creatives last year. We had success with Screenwest’s T-Vis scheme where discussions with broadcasters were initiated. A disagreement between the parties forced us to withdraw the project from this scheme. In the interim we have been unable to come up with any satisfactory settlement and the copyright in the project remains unresolved.

The filmmakers are well aware of my position. I’ve informed funding bodies and broadcasters of this impasse and stressed that the project CAN NOT be considered before this dispute is settled. Normally I’d be lenient on amateur filmmakers and put it down to their inexperience. However I’ve since found out they acted in a similar manner on this very project with Media World Pictures. To make matters worse one of the creatives has threatened my property, my friends and attempted to physically assault me. So in this case especially I’m in no mood to look the other way when it comes to our shared intellectual property.

I request that this entry be withdrawn from the competition and/or the judges are made completely aware that at present no clean chain-of-title exists here.

Sincerely

Jimmy Jack (aka Jimmy The Exploder)

Writer/Co-Producer – The Black Balloon
Producer – Henry and Aaron’s Perfectly Adequate Webisode Series
Writer/Director/Producer – Sex, Brains & Rock ‘ n Roll

EXPLODERVISION: Homeless stormtrooper on Hay St

A down-on-his-luck stormtrooper raising funds to rebuild his childhood home: the Death Star (click here for plans and schematics on Wookieepedia). Dude even pulls out a ‘darkside’ gang sign at 1:34!

EXPLODERVISION: The opening of Ya Ya’s

At 8pm on Thur Oct 28 (AKA not last night or the night before that but the night before that) EXPLODERVISION was at the blast-off of Perth’s latest small bar Ya Ya’s. The featured band are Melbourne duo French & McCarthy packing some serious harmonica.

John Hughes, Brilliant Mind Mixtape – Compiled By Petro Vouris

John Hughes directing Molly Ringwald on the set of 'Sixteen Candles'

You asked for it. You got it. The  John Hughes, Kind Of Wonderful Mixtape was so friggin’ popular last week me and Petro just had to do a second. Yep just in time for another big JH weekend. Last week we even out trended Metallica on Twitter using the #JHRetro hashtag!

1. Furniture – “Brilliant Mind” (Some Kind of Wonderful)
2. Jesse Johnson – “Get to Know Ya” (Pretty In Pink)
3. Jesse Johnson/Stephanie Spruill – “Heart to Hot to Hold” (The Breakfast Club)
4. Book of Love – “Modigliani (Lost In Your Eyes)” (Planes, Trains and Automobiles)
5. Big Audio Dynamite – “BAD” (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
6. Thompson Twins – “If You Were Here” (Sixteen Candles)
7. Kate Bush – “This Woman’s Work” (She’s Having a Baby)
8. OMD – “If You Leave” (Pretty in Pink)
9. Echo and the Bunnymen – “Bring On the Dancing Horses” (Pretty in Pink)
10. Karly DeVito – “We Are Not Alone” (The Breakfast Club)
11. The Ramones – “Blitzkreig Bop” (National Lampoons Vacation)
12. Lyndsey Buckingham – “Holiday Road” (National Lampoons Vacation)
13. Suzanne Vegas (with Joe Jackson) – “Left of Centre” (Pretty in Pink)
14. Psychedelic Furs – “Pretty In Pink” (Pretty in Pink)

For this weekend’s session times click here.

John Hughes, Kind Of Wonderful Mixtape – Compiled By Petro Vouris

To get you into the spirit of the John Hughes Retrospective (a collaboration between myself and the City Of Perth) local composer and DJ Petro Vouris has compiled a mixtape of his favourite tracks from Hughes’ iconic soundtracks. The festival kicks off tonight at Northbridge Piazza with recent doco Don’t You Forget About Me (about the enigmatic hermit John Hughes himself) at 6pm followed by the main event Weird Science at 8pm. It’s like totally free and if you’re early you’ll even get a beanbag!

1. Yello – “Oh Yeah” (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off )
2. Oingo Boingo – “Weird Science” (Weird Science)
3. Sigue Sigue Sputnik – “Love Missile F1-11″ (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)
4. Altered Images – “Happy Birthday” (Sixteen Candles)
5. Spandau Ballet – “True” (Sixteen Candles)
6. Dr Calculus – “Full Of Love” (She’s Having A Baby)
7. Billy Idol – “Rebel Yell” (Sixteen Candles )
8. Tone-Loc – “Wild Thing” (Uncle Buck)
9. Propaganda – “Abuse (aka Dr Mabuse)” (Some Kind Of Wonderful)
10. Simple Minds “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” (The Breakfast Club)

Make Parliament Your Bitch!

In what’s shaping to be the most unpopular decision for alcopeeps since Fresh Provs Mt Lawley ceased 24-hour trade the WA Parliament is considering ‘lockout’ laws. Potentially this could mean we won’t be able to re-enter a venue after a certain time if we say need to duck out for a smoke, or to make a booty call… hell even if we want a quick root in the alley! All this will accomplish is to leave us with nothing better to do than loiter, do heaps of graffiti, vandalize your car then quite possibly rape your grandma. I don’t know about you but I won’t stand for this and neither will my nan.

Stay calm. You don’t even have to take any concrete action – merely exercise a little clicktivism. Post this video on your social networking sites and ‘like’ the Facebook group. We lost the Fresh Prov fight because the owners didn’t have to answer to us, but these MP’s ain’t nothin’ but our whiny little bitches. It’s our civic fucking duty to slap ‘em round a bit.

Protesters rally against Melbourne's ill-fated 2AM lockout

The WA Italian Club’s Mixed Basketball Team (on the Italian Film Festival)

 

The WA Italian Club mixed basketball team

 

What are the chances of the Lavazza Italian Film Festival coinciding exactly with the the WA Italian Club’s mixed b-ball outfit making the C-division finals? The team (sponsored by Oracle Australasia) is made up entirely of local Italian media folk. I decided to ask the starting five for their top festival picks.

Power-forward EVA DI BLASIO is the producer of local feature Little Sparrows. She has an Italian passport and plans to put it to good use – her film has been selected for the Rome International Film Festival! Eva’s choice is:

T H E   B I C Y C L E   T H I E V E S

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The team’s centre MATT SARACENI has a radio show on Nova and a comedy quartet the Lords Of Luxury. He’s about as Italian as you can get. He chose the documentary:

D R A Q U I L A  -  I T A L Y   T R E M B L E S

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ELYSIA ZECCOLA plays ‘point’ and is this is her first year as director of the Italian Film Festival. Her dad owns Palace Films plus she’s been romantically linked to motorcycle ace Valentino Rossi. She likes:

A   M A T T E R   O F   H E A R T



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MARIE PRINCI plays off-guard and is a make-up artist on productions like Cloudstreet and Underbelly. She once got in trouble on a L’Uomo Vogue shoot caught with her phalanges down the pants of an Italian male model. Marie digs the opening night film:

L A   N O S T R A   V I T A

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SILVIO BURLUSCONI struggles with the 3-second rule and is the Prime Minister of Italy. He owns 128 television stations and likes playing Twister with his Neapolitan Mastiff. They select:

C O S M O N A U T

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The Lavazza Italian Film Festival runs from Oct 14 – Oct 28 at Cinema Paradiso and Luna SX. Unlike some of these trailers ALL FILMS WILL HAVE ENGLISH SUBTITLES. Programme here.

How to Give Good Head (aka Sex, Brains & Rock ‘n Roll)

Once upon a time my friends at Cottonmouth asked me to read in their monthly poetry/spoken-word/lyrics/rap/poontang night. It’s pretty much the equivalent getting oral sex from about eight different people in a row. I was flattered but as anyone (female or male) will tell you I suck at head. Besides, my script then entitled The Zombies: Sex Brains & Rock ‘n Roll was in no state for me to be able read an extract. A definite pickle.

Then I remembered what my friend Tiah told me when we’d been to the previous Cottonmouth. She said, “The secret to giving great head is to replicate the motion you’d use to get a lolly unstuck from the roof of your mouth.” So with that in mind I decided to write a script for the trailer of the film and they all lived happily ever after.

Greens & Co(ck) owner O W N E D

Oxford St circa 7:14am

When I heard that a banner alleging infidelity had been draped across the front of Greens & Co(ck) (the obnoxious caged-hen style Leederville cafe cum planetarium) I couldn’t hide my delight. Someone(s) had scaled the building in the dead of the night and erected a fuck you of epic proportions. The owner scrambled up to tear it down, then immediately rolled-out an elaborate surveillance system. When I finally managed to track down a photograph of said banner I laughed for nigh on ten minutes. And when rumour declared it was made out of the offending bedsheet AND weighed-down by the dude’s own sneakers I lost my shit completely! Couldn’t have done better myself. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

The Apology

I was contacted this week by a journalist from a prominent gossip magazine and another from Fairfax. They were both writing articles and wanted me to clarify essentially the same three ‘items of interest’. So before anything goes to print I want to set the record straight and not have to re-answer these same questions ad finitum.

1. Why did I change my name from Daniel Haughton (born March 9, 1979) to Jimmy Jack (born June 8, 1980) to Jimmy The Exploder (D.O.B. unknown)?

I proffered that it wasn’t really possible to offer rational explanations for irrational decisions, then immediately proceeded to do so. As a young filmmaker I’d been dissatisfied with my ascent up the ladder. I’d heard a JJJ interview with a band who’d changed styles somewhat, but just couldn’t shake their old image. They suggested that only a name change freed them from those restraints. And in the same vein, assuming the pseudonym ‘Jimmy Jack’ became the single most liberating thing I’ve done. My film career accelerated quickly from this point. As for the more recent ‘Jimmy the Exploder’ I quipped that “it most definitely has ejaculatory connotations.”

2. What was the nature of my relationship with Barry Otto’s daughter (and Miranda Otto’s half-sister) Gracie?

I responded that the relationship between Gracie and I was strictly platonic and I hadn’t seen her for some time. I denied any involvement whatsoever to do with her break-up with Matt Newton.  I declined to comment when asked whether we’d ever been an ‘item’.

On the red-carpet with Gracie Otto at the 2009 IF Awards at Luna Park, Sydney.

I had anticipated these first questions (they had been asked before), but the third was entirely unexpected:

3. Was I the same Daniel Haughton that appeared in a number of television commercials as a child actor in Sydney in the mid ’80s?

I answered that no that this wasn’t me. But I lied. I’m not even sure why. In fact I had performed as a background extra in a Colgate television commercial and more embarrassingly as the lead in an ad for the Christian Television Association. Whilst enjoyable at the time it became far from a pleasant experience for both myself and my parents. I became a victim of bullying and this (as well as a job op. for my dad with the then high-flying Bond Corp.) instigated our move to Perth. Later I knew my name change would further distance myself from these ads. Unfortunately thanks to Youtube they’ve resurfaced. I’ve emailed you both since with this correction, but kind apologies to the journos involved.

Interview with Ezra Pound’s Jan Kulksi

Jan Kulski, the laidback proprietor of Ezra Pound (photo by SubiYurek)

How did you find yourself in the hospitality game?

I worked nightclubs and other bits and pieces. Brewhaha in particular is a well-known Melbourne café. I moved to San Francisco and worked in a bar from before it opened. I tried to learn as much as possible: the way a place gets set up, the rules, the details – all the little things.

Kids here are still flocking to Sydney and Melbourne – so why Perth?

I came back broke and directionless and heard about the new small bar license. I wasn’t actively seeking it out but was putting feelers out. I teamed up with a friend and we started casting the net.

Before

Ezra Pound is supposedly very ‘Melbourne’. Is that what you were after?

It starts as a location. What you’re going to do in Northbridge is very different to what you’d do on St George’s Terrace. We looked at abandoned Chinese restaurants and down alleyways to find something cheaper with less demand on fit-out. There were two clothing stores in this laneway so we just had to knock out a wall.

Was the hunt confined to the CBD and surrounds?

We lacked the money and patience to do the council process elsewhere. The big issue in Perth is parking. The City of Perth is the only one that has no restrictions so you don’t have to build spots. We thought liquor licensing would be the nightmare, but it was the council who delayed us. The laneway used to be a place where junkies shot-up so common sense prevailed.

After

We all have fantasies of starting a bar. Who coughed-up the dough?

We have one investor operating as a silent partner. The goal was to do it for under a hundred grand. As soon as you involve a bank it puts pressure on. Instead of going ‘this is our weekly cost to operate and here’s our loan and this is our payback’ all we have to worry about is having the doors open.

In terms of your budget were there many surprises?

We were lucky that Perth had a boom and bust scenario. The first plumbing quote was twenty five thousand. In the end the entire plumbing bill was ten less because of timing. The economy tanked and there were people who wanted to work rather than giving us a bullshit price and seeing if it would stick.

So you’ve been open six months – how’s tricks?

We’re heading into our first winter, but last month was our best month ever. We’ve got the same staff from day one, and reach our capacity every weekend. But you’re never going to get rich off a small bar. We keep it tight, and that means we can serve ten buck longnecks. It’s a lifestyle choice. I can shout my friends a drink and wear tracksuit pants to work like I am right now.

(This interview was originally published on The Premise, a chance to create and run your own bar.)

REV 13 unlucky for none

A big motherfucking storm is gonna hammer P-town tonight. A shit storm that is – in the guise of the Revelation Perth International Film Festival. Sure the names a mouthful, but on the street we call her REV 13 and she’s gonna fuck our shit right up 10-day-bender-style. You see me and Rev have been abusing illicit films for nigh-on ten years. Sometimes I provide the shit (3 of my shorts screened back when) but mostly Rev just whacks a great big pile on the table and we start racking ‘em up.

James Franco stars in the Allen Ginsberg biopic 'Howl' one of the highlights of REV 13.

Sure this all sounds great dickhead, but what do I see? Oh I hear you. I’ll ask some peeps that actually watch these films. Not soft journos who’ll maybe go to the opening then cast REV 13 aside like a cheap whore. Truth is she’s a crack whore. So it was clear I needed some Rev fucking junkies. I found five of ‘em and asked for their drug of choice. So let’s fuck this puppy!

SIMON MIRAUDO reviews films for Quickflix and is a podcaster for Trending Cinema. He is between 12-14% gay and sees no reason to deny this:

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IVAN BORGNINO is Revelation’s former ‘go to’ man and is currently the curator of Ghetto Video. He has never had electro-shock therapy:

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BEN YOUNG recently helmed the Boys, Boys, Boys music video Ticky Ticky Boom and is about to direct his first feature Dieback. He knew who Justin Beiber was while we were all asking “What’s a beiber?”:

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DANIELLE MARSLAND reviews films for X-Press Magazine and is the editor of the Perth subcultural guide SixThousand. She currently has in her possession a Mrs Slocombe hair-do:

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JIMMY THE EXPLODER is a talentless hack who has no business being on a film set. He pretends he is a ‘somebody’ when in actual fact he is a ‘nobody’: